Secrets and Lies
by Adele Elisabeth
Summary: This is not her fairytale. That's okay, though.


[disclaimer: I do not own anything created by His Almighty Jossness] 

****

Author's Note 

This was intended to be a C/A fic, with B/A to give us some angst. 

What it's turned into, however, is a strange Cordelia/Holtz story, with some C/A, some B/A, and a whole lot of weirdness. I have absolutely no idea how I got to here. I was just writing in my notebook (okay, I was slacking off all day in most of my classes to write in my notebook), and then suddenly Holtz was in the picture, and then…well. 

So if the idea of Cordelia and Holtz squicks you (it squicks _me_ and I wrote the damn thing), turn back now. No, really. Turn back. It's not even all that great writing. So basically, if you're going to flame me for the pairing, I'm going to laugh at you. Know why? 'Cause I warned you. A lot. See? This is a Cordelia and Holtz story. Run while you still can. 

Yes, I know that it's a weird pairing. I know it's a bizarre and impossible pairing. I also know I'm going to write it anyway. If you don't like it, don't read it. Remember that cute little thing we like to call 'free will'? Nobody's making you read this. I'm just making sure we have that totally clear from the outset. 

Notes: 

Wesley did not take Connor. He was thinking about it, but Lorne found his notes and they talked about it…yes, so he had nothing to do with Connor's kidnap. But Cordelia _is_ demonized. I've only seen up to the first time she glows, of course, so any other demonic powers she gets in this story, I know they don't really happen. I just felt like being a walking night-light isn't as interesting as being an empathic night-light. 

'Angel' is more or less canon up to just after Connor was born, and from there it goes AU. The Buffy timeline is completely and utterly screwed – it's at around the same time as season seven, but very AU. They defeated the First without Sunnydale turning crater-shaped, for example. Spike's still dead, it's just that Sunnydale is still there (because I started this story sometime during season six and can't be bothered fixing it up), and Anya isn't dead. 

Groosalugg is not in this story. He's simply ignored. I don't like him very much. 

The town Kingsford I made up. 

__

Secrets and Lies

- by Adele Elisabeth

__

Summary: What do you do when Mr. So Right is _so_ spoken for? Easy. Marry Mr. Incredibly Wrong. (Cordelia's POV)

-

It was raining that day. 

Kind of appropriate, really, considering. 

I came to a sort of a realization. 

See, I loved Angel. A lot. I was insanely in love with my best friend. 

I chose a really, really _bad_ time to find this out. 

- 

At first, I thought maybe he might love me, too. I mean, all the signs were there. The soulful looks, the almost unnoticed brushing up, the smiles he reserved just for me, all the little things that add up to the big thing. I even thought the series of misadventures that brought me to Angel Investigations might be 'fate'. 

Yeah. Big with the wrong there. 

- 

Angel had gotten his soul back, is the thing. I was ecstatic for about five seconds, right up until he told me the _rest_ of his great news. 

"Isn't it great, Cordelia? Buffy and I can finally be…together!" 

He looked so happy; it'd be like kicking a puppy. So I gave him my best Cordelia-Chase-The-World's-Ending?-I-Hadn't-Noticed grin. "Congratulations, Angel, that's great." I beamed. 

He grinned back at me. 

Then something hit me. "Angel…what about my visions?" 

He frowned, and for a moment, my heart leapt with hope. 

I was grasping at straws, I admit it freely. But I didn't expect to hear what I heard next, and god…

"You can come too, Cordy, I'm sure your visions would be a great help to Buffy as well," 

Yeah. That's me, helping the hopeless. Since when is Buffy Summers hopeless? My visions are _mine_, mister, and I'll do what I want with them. Screw Saint Buffy, she's got you, what does she need me for? 

Of course, that's not what I _said_. "Sounds like a plan. I'm sure it'll be…I'm sure Sunnydale hasn't changed," I amended. I couldn't bring myself to say anything positive about the situation, but Angel was too happy to even notice. 

I wanted to say something, I wanted to make him stay with me, make him see me. I wanted to scream and rage at him until I was hoarse, I wanted so much. 

But did I say something? Me, the tactless, blunt, say-what-I-think-think-what-I-say, queen of all bitchdom…I stayed quiet. 

I left, but I don't know if he noticed I was gone. I just couldn't be there anymore. 

-

So I went to Sunnydale with him. I moved in with Anya, who was lonely in her apartment. 

(of course, she spent more time at Giles's than at home, so I think she was just trying to be helpful rather than out of any real need for company) 

I was working in the Magic Box for her, too. It freed up more of her time, and kept me busy, so it all worked out nicely for us. Anya was teaching me some magic, she thought all demons should be able to defend themselves in a variety of ways. Only the ones who deserve defense, she always added hastily. I think I was glad she considers me one of them, and I'm not even a whole demon. I'm mostly human. Anyway, I wasn't the best or most powerful witch, but I was good, and I loved it. It was…soothing. 

Evidently, though, my work-work-work thing was beginning to worry her. 

"Cordy?" she sounded concerned about me. She did care, in her own unique Anya way. "Cordy, are you okay?" 

I gave her a weak smile, too tired to summon anything better. "Just the usual." 

"You can't live like this," she told me, leaning on the other side of the counter. "It's not good for you." 

"He's my Warrior, Anya, I can't leave him," I responded, staring down at the counter. I was wiping it, but I'd been wiping that same spot for the last half an hour. 

"Even when you can hardly bear to be in the same room as him?" she raised an eyebrow at me. "Can't look at him because it hurts?" 

"Anya—" 

"No, listen to me, please." I quieted down, it wasn't often she got serious. "This is killing you inside, and you know it. I won't let you do this to yourself." She paused. "Besides, your moods are scaring away paying customers." 

I got the feeling she added that just to make me laugh. "Anya, I'm fine. Honest." 

"I'm your friend. Friends are supposed to help other friends. I'm going to help. Whether you like it or not." 

"Anya, really. I'm fine." Unfortunately, Anya had this uncanny habit of seeing through my lies. 

"I won't let you do this to yourself," she repeated. 

"Do what to herself?" 

We both spun around to face Angel. How long had been standing there? I was near panic, but I didn't get a chance to say a word. 

"If you'd deign to notice, maybe she wouldn't be in this mess." 

Damn it, Anya…I know she meant well, but really. 

Angel just looked confused. 

I threw down my rag. "I'm taking a walk." I announced. 

Angel stopped me. "In Sunnydale, in the dark, alone?" 

"I have a stake, holy water and a cross, I train all the time, and I'm getting better with the mojo. Let's not forget the slayer," I couldn't avoid the bitter twist I put on the word, and wondered if Angel had noticed I never called _her_ by name. "I don't need y—a sitter." 

"You don't need me?" he echoed what I'd been about to say. 

Oh, shit. I'd painted myself into a corner. There was no way I could fix that without making it worse, so I didn't try. "That's not what I meant." 

"What _did_ you mean, Cordelia?" 

"It doesn't matter," I shrugged him off, suddenly so tired of having to smile and put up, tired of just 'dealing'. 

"If it's bothering you, it matters to me," Angel told me. 

I laughed. I was nearly hysterical with laughter. Anya hurried over and pulled me into her arms as I sank to the ground, my laughter turning into sobs. 

I was cracking. I couldn't cope. Anya was right, I couldn't live like that anymore. 

"Please go, Angel." I heard her tell him, and I assume he obeyed. 

-

Buffy and Angel. Angel and Buffy. The star-crossed, doomed lovers had finally gotten their chance and I hated it. 

I hated Buffy, too, and some days I even hated Angel. Not for long, though, I couldn't hate Angel. Sometimes I wished I could. 

__

Hold up your chin and shame the devil, that's what my grandmother used to tell me. I'm a Chase. Proud, deserving of respect. 

I could barely look at Angel. 

Mom told me to always be in control. Taught me that control is the key, that I couldn't let go of it. Taught me that men are all the same, and you can't let them destroy you. You have to be in control. 

I watched Mom and Daddy, and wondered if she'd learned that the hard way. 

-

Never fall in love with anyone who's ever met Buffy Summers. Hell, anyone who's even _heard_ of Buffy Summers. It's not worth it. 

Great, speak of the devil…

"Cordelia?"

Yes, O Great One? To what do I owe the delight of your divine presence? Goddamn Saint Buffy to the rescue, again. "Yes, what?" 

"I know we've never been friends—" 

I snorted, but she persevered, much to my irritation. 

"Angel's really worried about you, Cordelia. I just wanted you to know that you can always talk to me if you want to." 

That's a laugh. I got up to walk away, intending to walk away without a word, but then I turned. "Can you tell Angel something for me?" 

"Sure," she replied, looking puzzled. 

"Tell him I hope he's happy." I fled, not giving her a chance to respond. 

-

A month before our move, a man named Daniel Holtz, from the past, kidnapped Connor. He crept in, took him, and then he was gone. I was sitting in front of the Hyperion when his shadow fell across me. 

"I have a proposition for you, Miss Chase." 

-

Justine had recently been killed, and Holtz believed Connor needed a mother. I needed a change, a new life. 

So I said yes. 

-

We were married by the end of the month. It was a fairly simple wedding, which makes sense, all things considered, but I'm not complaining. We had a birth certificate for Connor, proclaiming him to be Stephen Daniel Holtz, son of Cordelia Amity Holtz and Daniel Jacob Holtz. After the wedding, I had Anya send me the rest of my stuff from Sunnydale, and we left LA, moving to a small town called Kingsford, where my grandmother lived. Amity Chase – that's where my middle name came from, I've always wondered about where it came from for her, kind of a weird name – was delighted to see me, especially with a husband and baby in tow. She frowned upon the age-difference (if only she knew), but she did come around. When she saw how 'in love' (I _can_ act!) we were, anyway. It scared me a little. I mean, I hadn't really given it a hell of a lot of thought when I first said yes, but I realized it now – this was my _life_. I'd _married_ this man, I was going to raise a child with him, all the while playing the good wife. Raising _Angel's_ child. Daniel had stolen Angel's son and now here was I, involved in a deception that would last years, if not the rest of my life, all revolving around that kidnap. 

Could I do it? 

It was too late for second thoughts by then, though. 

I'd made my decision, now I had to live with it. Daniel had found a job at Kingsford's museum – it was the perfect thing for him, really. He hired Wolfram and Hart; they faked a history for him – giving him good credentials for a historian, too. _That_ was probably what I had the biggest problem with – Wolfram and Hart. We fought about it for nearly a week, actually, but Daniel convinced me it was the only way. 

I found a job, too, with the Kingsford Times, just a cute little newspaper. I wrote a weekly column, 'Cordy's Corner', where I answered questions and prattled on about stuff. It was fun, and the pay wasn't bad. Daniel thought it was a little silly, but I was still sore about the Wolfram and Hart thing and told him where he could shove his silly. 

Yeah. We weren't really speaking for a while there after that.

-

When Stephen was six, things had changed between my husband and I. I was pregnant with our "second" child, a baby girl. The first time I ever spent the night with him was completely innocent, but it changed things between us. In a really good, good, good way. Somehow, in those six years, I'd managed to fall in love with him. Angel? Angel who? Angel was dead to me. Okay, so technically he was dead anyway, but you know what I mean. I didn't tell Daniel how I felt though – kind of a lot scared he didn't love me, scared that the wife Angelus and Darla killed would always be between us. So I stayed quiet and let things continue as they were. 

Anyway. 

I was about four months pregnant when I got the first vision I'd had since I left Sunnydale. It was kind of a shock. The rest of my demon-ness I was used to – the glowing, the empathy, and the levitation (which I had learned to control, handy) – but I hadn't had a vision in years. 

The subject of my vision was a lot more shocking to me than the vision itself, though. With shaking hands, I called Daniel at work. Hopefully he'd have a spare moment – though I was betting he'd have plenty of time for this. "Daniel?" 

"Cordelia? What's wrong?" he sounded worried. I guess my hands weren't the only things shaking. 

"I had a vision. It's Angel – Daniel, he's coming _here_." He was silent so long it scared me. "Talk to me, damn it. What are we going to _do_?" 

"We leave." He told me, quietly. "Staying here is simply too dangerous for our children." 

Yeah. Let's not forget us, babe. I like my life just the way it is – you know, still there. "Leave? Leave and go where?" 

"England." 

Okay, that shut me up. 

-

I was already packing when Daniel got home. Stephen was scared, but he was holding up impressively. He'd helped me pack his things up, and was now sat on the sofa, eating the soup I'd heated up while I began packing my things and Daniel's. 

"Cordelia?" 

I turned, and leaned against the chest of drawers. "The one and only." 

"Are you…are you all right?" he was almost hesitant as he asked, walking into our room. 

I couldn't believe he'd asked such an incredibly stupid question. "No! No, I'm not all right! Angel is hunting us down. He was my best friend, Daniel, he was _family_. Damn it, I just…I'm not okay. At all. I'm scared out of my mind and that scares me more than anything else – I'm scared of Angel. I never thought I'd have to be scared of him." 

He gathered me into his arms and sat us down on the bed, holding me close. "I'll never let him hurt you, Cordelia, I give you my word." 

"I loved him and now he'll hate me," I whispered. 

Daniel held me and rocked me while I cried, giving no hint of how he felt about what I'd said. 

We packed in silence after that. 

-

It was so strange for the first few weeks, adjusting to our new home. Daniel was fine – clearly – but Stephen and I took a while longer. It didn't take Daniel long to find another job – another museum, and he was working with musty old books. I wondered out loud one day if I'd married Giles and not noticed, but he just gave me a 'look', so I didn't explain the comment. 

We did settle, eventually. By the time we were properly settled, I was six months pregnant, Stephen had just turned seven, and I was working again. Believe it or not, I was working as the glorified secretary for a demon therapist. I'm not sure if he was a demon or not, but most of his clients were demons, vampires, or just folks who knew about 'em. We even got the occasional Watcher, though they were few and far between. And mostly ex-Watchers, really. 

I had a bit of a tendency to jump at every shadow, fearing Angel had found us, or something along those lines. Daniel told me I was worrying too much, but I could tell he worried about it too. In any case, we picked out a name for our daughter – 'Alexandra Julia Holtz', Lexi for short. 

I felt as though I were finally _truly_ home, like everything in my life had fallen into place. 

How wrong was _I_? 

-

Angel found us a week after we chose Lexi's name. He wasn't expecting me, just knew Daniel had a dark-haired, younger wife. I guess he figured Justine had dyed her hair. 

He was standing on our doorstep, looking shocked. I'd answered the door, expecting it to be our neighbor, the elderly Mrs. Lake. She babysat Stephen sometimes, and I still needed to pay her for the last time. Daniel was out, getting our dinner with Stephen – fish and chips. I was alone in the house. 

"Cordelia?" he looked shocked. That didn't really surprise me, though he did. 

I slammed the door shut. 

That proved to be a bad move, as he nearly broke the damn thing when he started banging on it. I didn't want him to make a scene in front of our neighbors – and it wasn't like he could hurt me through the barrier, anyway. I wasn't stupid enough to invite him in. So I opened the door. 

"What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded, looking up from my belly to meet my gaze. 

"Waiting for my husband to get home with dinner," I replied coolly. "Does Buffy know you're here?" 

"She found the first lead on Holtz…" There he was again, staring at my belly. Geez. You'd think he'd never seen a pregnant woman. 

"Yay for her. If that's all, I was in the middle of—" 

He growled at me. He _actually_ growled at me. "Where is my son, Cordelia?" 

"I don't know what you're—" 

"Mommy! Daddy let me get a doughnut!" Stephen barged past Angel, and I pulled him inside before the soulled vampire had a chance to react. Daniel was running towards the house. 

"Stephen, honey, go put dinner on the table. Daddy and I will be through soon." I kissed the top of his head, and he ambled off. 

"Get away from my wife," Daniel grated at Angel, pulling out his stake. 

Angel didn't react to that, staring at me. "That was—" 

"—Stephen Holtz, our oldest," I finished. 

"_My son_." 

"He is _our_ son," Daniel corrected. "What is that saying of yours, my love? Ah yes…payback's a bitch."

My heart nearly stopped. He'd said 'my love'! Of course, there were more important matters at hand, but I was understandably pleased with that. "Go home, Angel. There's nothing for you here." 

"Give me my son," he ordered angrily. 

I got the feeling I was the only thing that stopped Daniel from just staking him. "He's not yours anymore," I said, hoping like hell I could talk our way out of this. "Can you imagine how it would hurt him to be taken away from us, his parents?" I knew Angel should have him back. Daniel had kidnapped Stephen, and it was wrong. I just knew how much it would hurt him to be taken from us. 

Okay, and it would hurt me too. 

"I'm his father," Angel insisted. 

Stephen chose then to come back. "Mommy, can I start eating now?" he peered at Angel. "Who's that?" 

"I'll tell you another time, Stephen," I told him, staring hard at Angel – and my husband, who did not look pleased with my announcement. "Go and eat your dinner." 

He went, reluctantly, staring curiously back at the scene on the porch. 

"He has to know," I said, but I couldn't tell you who I was saying it to. "One day." 

"One day," Daniel echoed. 

Angel fled into the night. To this day, I don't know why he didn't stay, why he didn't fight Daniel, why he just left like that. It didn't seem like him. 

-

We did tell Stephen who Angel was, eventually. Three years later, in fact, when he turned ten. _I_ told him the story – it was a little edited, but not much. I didn't tell him much about Darla's past, and I tried to gloss over the killing of Daniel's family. Stephen didn't let me, though; he wanted to know everything. In the end, I told him the whole sordid tale, of Daniel's family, his bid for revenge, my doomed love for Angel, the slightly surreal marriage proposal, all of it. 

At first he was angry, then he told me I was his mom and that he loved me. Forgiving Daniel took longer, but they worked it out between themselves. Daniel took him out one day, and when they got home, it was like old times again. I didn't ask, it seemed like something they should have to themselves. 

When he was eleven, he wanted to meet Angel. 

-

I watched Stephen hold onto his little sister's hand as ordered, looking sulky about it, as we walked up to Buffy's house. 1630 Revello Drive, Fort Summers. Daniel squeezed my hand, and I squeezed back. This wasn't going to be easy on any of us. 

I knelt in front of Stephen when we reached the porch. "Angel is probably going to be very angry, especially with me. I just want you to know, your father and I love you very much, and we always will." 

He didn't say anything, just hugged me. I stood up, and knocked on the door, watching Daniel pick up Alexandra out of the corner of my eye, Stephen standing in front of us. Our life was based on secrets and lies, and I realized in that moment that whatever had started our family, it was love that kept us together. Kind of cheesy, I know, but true. 

Buffy answered the door. She looked absolutely furious when she saw me, but Stephen spoke before she could. "My name is Stephen Holtz, we're looking for Angel. Does he live here?" 

I could tell she was building up to a big comeback, and I was about to cut her off myself when Angel did it for me. 

"Yes, he does." 

I'd almost forgotten how easily Angel moved in and out of the shadows as he appeared behind Buffy. 

Stephen extended his hand. "Stephen Holtz," he introduced himself again. "Mom says you're my biological father." He hesitated. "Please don't be too mad at her." 

"Why the hell not?" Buffy burst out. 

"Stephen, please. Don't." I murmured. 

"But Mom—" 

"I said don't, Stephen. Leave it a lone." I could see Daniel taking Alexandra to sit on the grass out of the corner of my eye. I could understand why he wasn't comfortable here, but I really could've used the help. Sigh. 

"Mom—" 

"Stephen." 

He subsided. "Yes, Mom." 

Angel was calming Buffy down, quietly. I don't know how much success he was having.

"I'll be right back," I told them, before saying to Stephen, "I think your father needs some time. I'm going to send him for ice-cream, okay?" 

"Okay," he sighed. 

"You are _not_ coming into my house," Buffy glared. 

So, not much success then. 

"Then neither am I," Stephen declared. 

"Stephen—" 

"Mom." 

Angel looked almost amused at the pair of us, and I just gave Stephen a look, before going over to Daniel. 

When I went back to the porch, Stephen was (stubbornly) still waiting for me. Alexandra had dozed off, and I was carrying her. 

-

Alexandra slept on one side of me on the sofa; Stephen sat on the other, while Buffy and Angel sat across from us. I found myself wondering when the interrogation would start. 

"Why did you want to meet me?" Angel prompted Stephen.

"Mom told me lots of stuff about you, and I wanted to meet you because Mom doesn't talk like that about just _anyone_." 

"What kind of things did she say?" Angel asked, looking at me as he said it. 

"Well, she told me you're a Warrior. She said you're really brave and strong. You're the king of planning stupidly – her words – and an artist. She thinks you're a good man, and intelligent, and she misses you sometimes. She also said you're an 'oblivious dork', but I don't think that had anything to do with me, Dad gave her this look when she said it. They—" 

"I think you've answered the question just fine," I cut in, not particularly wanting Stephen to share my marital non-bliss with Angel. Daniel had clammed up a lot ever since Stephen said he wanted to meet Angel, and it had just gotten worse. Anyway, I was watching Angel as Stephen spoke, watching his reaction. The barely there wince when Stephen called Daniel 'Dad', an almost-smile when he said I missed him (followed by a guilty look to the oblivious Buffy), and lastly a raised eyebrow at the dork comment and what was almost a run down of the problems in my marriage. 

"Your mother is a very observant woman," he said – very tactfully, I thought. For whatever reasons he had, he didn't ask about what I hadn't wanted Stephen to say. 

"Mom, can I show him the album now?" Stephen asked me. I smiled weakly and pulled it out of my bag. It was a large, green book, with _The Holtz Family Album_ written in gold leaf across the front cover. It was a collection of all the pictures we'd ever taken for the last eleven years. Me, Daniel, Stephen, Alexandra, friends of ours, everything. 

Buffy was looking over Angel's shoulder at the snapshots of my family. 

"We were going to make one just of Stephen," I said, looking fondly down at the boy in question, "but we never really had the time." 

"This is just fine," Angel didn't look up. 

-

Daniel came back a few hours later, and he didn't have any ice-cream, but Stephen wisely didn't comment. Alexandra had woken up and adorabled Buffy into making cookies with her. 

I could almost touch the tension between Daniel and Angel. 

"Look, I swear to god I'm going to take the pair of you and throw you into therapy with Doctor Lux!" I burst out, referring to my employer. "You pair have issues up the wazoo!" 

They stared at me with disturbingly similar shocked looks. 

"Daniel, I _know_ you are over the revenge kick, and that you're still bitter about your family, and you've been…well, _you_ know how you've been lately, and Angel, you have Stephen issues and you probably hate me too, but you can't fight and that never works anyway—" 

I didn't even realize I was crying until Daniel was holding me and brushing away my tears. "I'm sorry, Cora," he whispered. 

Angel looked at us. "We need to talk, Cordelia." 

"We do." 

Daniel's grip on me tightened, and I realized what his other Angel issues were – he was jealous! I was delighted, but I'd have to do something about it soon. "And we do, too," I told him softly. 

-

"Do you love him?" 

Alexandra and Stephen had been in bed for a few hours, and I was in the bath when Daniel asked me that, leaning in the doorway. 

"Come in and sit down," I ordered him imperiously. 

I got an amused look for my trouble, and he obeyed, shutting the door behind him. "_Do_ you, Cordelia?" 

"I did. I loved him until I died inside, watching him and Buffy." I admitted freely. "So I left. Left a note for Anya and went back to LA. I hadn't even been there a whole day when you found me." I sighed. "I married you because Stephen needed a mother and I needed a change." 

He stayed silent as I looked up at him. "I stayed married to you because I love you, Daniel. I don't know the how or the when, but I do." I paused. "I think I've got a bit of an older man fetish goin' on…" 

He laughed at that, leaned over, and kissed me. 

There wasn't a whole lot of talking after that. 

-

My talk with Angel wasn't nearly as easy. 

"Just tell me _why_, Cordelia." 

"'Just' tell you why? Oh, we're past 'just', Angel, there's a whole lot of 'why'," I replied wryly. 

"Then start at the beginning." 

So, I did. I told him everything. I told him how I loved him, how I was just cracking in Sunnydale, told him why I left, told him how I met Daniel again…everything. 

It took him a while to reply. "Cordelia…I…" 

"I'm sorry, Angel," I said impulsively. "You have no idea how many times I thought about just taking Stephen and taking him back to you, how many times I beat myself up about what I'd done…" 

"What stopped you?" he asked. 

"I couldn't leave Daniel." It was softly said, but with his super vamp hearing, he heard it just fine. 

"I can't forgive you yet, Cordelia," he said slowly, "but…I want to. I do. Just…just give me time." 

"I can give you that. It's the _least_ I can do." I hesitated. "What about Stephen?" 

"I can't take him from his…family. I do want to see him, though. Get to know him." 

"That's fine with me." 

"And Holtz?" 

"Daniel won't like it, but I'll talk to him about it." 

"Cordy?" 

"Yeah?"   
"Why did you come here?" 

Oh, yes, because I _really_ want to answer that question… "Stephen needed to, and I had…unfinished business." 

"How does your…husband feel about this?" 

"He hates it and he hates you. It's nothing short of a miracle he's actually here." I sighed. 

"There's another why I've got—why are you with him?" 

"To start with? I just needed to get away, needed something new. Now? Because I love him." 

"He's so much older than…" he trailed off at my look. Oh yeah Angel, because you can _really_ talk about age differences. "Okay, so that was really hypocritical of me, but it's a valid comment." 

"I guess it's my older man fetish," I told him flippantly. 

-

"Mom?" 

Cordelia looked up from her computer. "Hmmm?" 

Alexandra leaned against her mother's desk. "Whatcha doing?" 

"Writing something." The older brunette replied, closing the file. 

"What's it about?" 

"Us." Cordelia smiled at her teenage daughter. 

"Oooh!" Alexandra's eyes lit up and she sat down. "Like what?" 

"Your Uncle Wes wanted the full story of the Holtz family." Cordelia explained, resting her chin in her hands. "I figured the easiest way would be to just type it all up. What do you think?" 

"Am I in it?" 

"Of course. Not much though, honey, this was mostly back when you were little." 

Alexandra pouted, and Cordelia laughed. 

"So how does the story end?" Alexandra prompted her. 

"How _does_ the story end, Cordelia?" Daniel asked, standing in the doorway. 

She laughed again, wondering how long he'd been standing there. Long enough, evidently. "I guess we'll just have to find out together, won't we?" 

__

The End. [or is it…] 

Notes: 

Omg, what crap. My Cordelia was written terribly, and the ending was heavy on the cheese. 

[hangs head in shame] 

****

Cordelia: Oh. My. God. 

****

Holtz: [staring in shock at the screen] 

****

Angel: Cordy…? 

****

Cordelia: It's official. Adele has finally lost what she had left of her mind. 

****

Angel: [relieved by Cordelia's words] 

****

Holtz: [eyeing Cordelia warily] 

****

Adele: [sneaking off, flips lightswitch on the way out] 

****

Angel/**Cordelia**/**Holtz**: [stumble around in the dark, swearing at the deranged author] 


End file.
